General Mayhem

[pirateoftherings]

"Yeah, if she didn't kill the main villain and take over the whole thing herself first," Kjan pointed out, mimicking Phaerin's pose on the other end of the bed, then deeming it uncomfortable and sitting up cross-legged. "And I don't want to fight the minions! Don't you ever read the stories? In all the stories Bibsy read me, the villain's just the smart guy who tells his minions to do the fighting for him. So you'd be facing the one with no clue how to fight while I had to face all the experienced ones, and that's not very fair. Especially since you're older. I say the older one gets the minions, and the younger gets to go after the villain."

[Meldawen]

"But the leader has to fight the villain," explained Phaerin patiently, with the air of one explaining a game of hide-and-seek to a perturbed three-year-old. "Besides, I think stories leave out things. What's all the business with princesses, anyway? The heroes always marry princesses, and that's boring."

He raised himself on one elbow and yawned. "What about if I get to fight the villain, and you take on the minions, but you get the princess at the end? I'm not getting married." He said it with the airy certainty of one who has yet to see any point in matrimonial ties. Phaerin grinned suddenly, staring off into space. "I want Eledhe to get married. Like Mother, except worse. She probably doesn't want to, though...she didn't look very happy about sharing a bedroom with Liell."

[pirateoftherings]

Kjan frowned and started to object, then paused to consider. "Well...maybe I could marry a princess," he reluctantly conceded. "But only if she was gonna be the next queen or something. Then I could be King Kjan." He grinned widely as he considered that possibility, then made a disgusted face as he thought of something else. "We wouldn't kiss or anything, though. Everyone says you have to, but Mother and Father never kiss, and they're just fine."

With an air of finality, he flopped onto his back, only to sit straight up again a moment later. "If I became king, you'd have to do what I said," he observed, as though the realization had just struck him. "I like that part."

[Meldawen]

Phaerin sighed as if lamenting the obtuseness of humanity in general. "I'm the rebel, remember?" he reminded Kjan in tones of infinite patience. "Obviously, if you're the king and I'm the rebel, I don't do what you say. You can order everyone else around, though. Except me and whoever's my second-in-command. And anyone who likes me better than you."

He cast Kjan a doubtful look. "I think I'd rather you were the second-in-command. Being King would be too complicated. And then you wouldn't have to kiss a princess."

There was a moment of silence while he stared up at the design on the underside of his bed's canopy. "I'm bored."

[pirateoftherings]

Kjan nodded in agreement, lying down on his stomach and propping his head up with his arms. "If we were at my home, I'd say we could go beg Clarence for some sweets," he said at length. "What are the odds of us getting something something off of one of your cooks? We never really ate dinner."

"I'd say next to nothing," Phaerin's nursemaid replied as she entered the room with an extra pillow and a tray laden with two simple plates of food. "Eat up quickly, and then off to bed with you both. You've had quite enough adventure for one day, I daresay."

[Meldawen]

"But that's boring," said Phaerin disconsolately, looking at the bland plates. A piece of bread with butter each, some milk, and what Cook probably thought was a treat - rhubarb jam. His mouth tasted sour just thinking of it. "Technically, we were mostly adventuring at night, because it was almost night when we - when we -" what he was trying to get out was, "when we went into the mine and Eledhe and Liell and Jair and Cain found us," but Eledhe had evidently taken precautions to make sure that Phaerin and Kjan wouldn't be able to even mention the beginnings of their misadventure. Phaerin, however, didn't know this.

He frowned, swallowed a few times, and tried again. "When we - after we - into the -" and subsided looking slightly worried.

The nursemaid, by this time, was giving him one of those looks that meant she wasn't fooled, this was a play to stall the advance of bedtime. "Eat," she said, pointing at the food and folding her arms as if to watch them do it. "You can play pretend later."

[pirateoftherings]

Kjan obediently devoured the contents of his plate, though not without throwing Phaerin an odd look first. Ordinarily, he would've put up a little more resistance, but the food on the plate, simple as it was, was better than anything they'd had in the past twenty-four hours, and he was too hungry to worry about being sufficiently rebellious.

Despite Phaerin's initial protests, both plates were completely cleaned off before five minutes had passed, leaving them to face the inevitable onset of bedtime. The nursemaid removed the trays (and the boys) from the bed, turned down the sheets, and waited expectantly until both Kjan and Phaerin were tucked into bed and looking adequately sleepy. Satisfied, she finally took the candle and left.

"What was that about?" Kjan whispered as soon as they were alone again.

[Meldawen]

Phaerin sat up, cleared his throat, and attempted to enunciate his words clearly. "Eledhe and Liell kidnapped us and took us to that Guild place." What actually came out was - "and - to - place - they -" and he subsided in disgust.

"She did something!" he asserted indignantly. "She said she trusted us not to talk, but we can't anyway!" Really, this method was sensible and effective, but like any twelve-year-old boy, Phaerin objected hotly to being tricked. "I'm going to try writing it," he declared stubbornly, and got out of bed to run for parchment. "You try saying something!

[pirateoftherings]

"I'm saying something right now," Kjan pointed out as he watched Phaerin run across the room. "Something something something...." Only after he'd repeated the word several times did it occur to him that Phaerin might have meant 'say something about our adventure', and so he promptly began to try to do that as well...except nothing came out. Just like before, he was unable to even phrase it properly in his head. It all just came out along the lines of 'we got lost.' Frowning, he hopped down from the bed to join Phaerin at the desk. "Anything?"

[Meldawen]

No twelve-year-old boy's handwriting was perfect or anywhere near it, but Phaerin's was an unintelligible scribble with the occasional readable word, consistantly either an 'and' or a 'the'. He looked down at it disconsolately, gave the quill a suspicious look, and abandoned the attempt. "No," he said grumpily, getting back into bed as footsteps sounded in the hallway. "Shhh, or she'll -"

But when the (rightfully) suspicious nursemaid opened the door both had the appearance of sleeping angelically. Once she was gone, Phaerin considered perservering further in his attempt to somehow communicate what had really happened, but he was sort of tired. Sort of. A bit drowsy, maybe.

The next time the nursemaid checked, they really were sleeping. She felt vaguely relieved - Phaerin could be a little devil when his mother wasn't around to keep him in line - but there had been some strange noises from the guest chamber currently in use. Probably best to ignore them, she decided, as there was a very faint crashing sound in the distance.

[pirateoftherings]

The boys were woken up the next morning by the nursemaid, who quickly informed them that their parents were approaching on the road and had already been informed by a messenger that the boys were both safe. She quickly supervised their getting ready and made sure they were both presentable before hurriedly ushering them into the main parlor, where they were joined by a rather tired-looking (and mildly bruised) pair of mercenaries. Kjan was just about to ask about the whole no-talking business when the sound of approaching footsteps echoed through the halls.

"Kjan!" his mother exclaimed, swooping down on him and depositing a kiss firmly on his forehead. She spent the next five minutes checking over every inch of him and didn't cease her fussing until she was absolutely certain that no harm had befallen her baby. "Don't you ever do that to me again!" she scolded, holding him at arm's length. "What on earth were you doing?"

"I - we went - I mean....We were lost, mother," Kjan finished lamely, though not without a glance in Eledhe's direction.

"On our own property?" Lord Armadur asked incredulously. "Kjan, you've been playing in that forest since you could walk. Surely you can find your way home by now?"

Kjan shrugged slightly. "It was dark."

Lady Armadur looked at him concernedly, then turned to address Eledhe and Liell. "I understand we owe you the lives of our sons."

[Meldawen]

Eledhe seemed to be having difficulty keeping her expression from lapsing into a sneer. Evdently her dislike of nobles was powerfully deep-seated. Liell bowed deferentially, aware that she was very likely not going to do so, and answered with a passable pretention at courtesy. "No trouble, my lady. Eledhe and I -" she endured the arm around her shoulders, to his relief "- are happy to help."

Lady Grey was currently appraising her son with a decidedly disapproving eye, and Phaerin was wilting slightly under the scrutiny, so he was more than a little relieved when she turned her attention to the pair of mercenaries-pretending-not-to-be-mercenaries. "My thanks as well," she added regally, but the disapproving scrutiny didn't quite alter with a different subject. Eledhe's leather armor was evidently not quite Lady Grey's idea of proper garb for a young lady. One eyebrow arched. "May I inquire after your profession?"

"I'm a bodyguard," put in Liell hastily. "Our, ah, caravan travels through some dangerous areas. Eledhe's my wife."

Phaerin was tempted to put in a statement directly contradicting this, but he had a suspicion it wouldn't work. In any case, he was interested in how this little interaction turned out.

Lady Grey seemed satisfied with this explanation, and condescended to say, "Pray accept my thanks, then, and perhaps a small compensation for your troubles?"

Eledhe said, "Yes," at the same moment Liell said, "We couldn't possibly." He hurriedly continued. "Unless you absolutely insist, my lady."

[pirateoftherings]

"Good man," Lord Armadur said in response. "One can never put a price on a good deed. Now, assuming Kjan has everything he needs, we'll be on our way, as we have a fairly good distance to travel." He bowed, then placed a hand on Kjan's shoulder in order to leave, only to be stopped by Lady Armadur. "Yes, darling?" he asked quietly when she refused to budge.

"We cannot let their act of kindness simply go unrewarded," she protested in an equally low tone. "They most likely went far out of their way to bring the boys to safety. And don't you pretend you weren't concerned; you were just as eager to look for them as I."

"But dearest, the man already insisted that they needed no payment. The knowledge that they did the right thing is enough for him, as it should be."

"Just look at the state of their clothing. Do they look like knowledge is enough for them? He was only being polite. Give the poor man some money."

"He would have asked for money if he wanted it. Come, Kjan."

"Rowan, I'm not leaving until you give them the reward they deserve."

A small contest of wills occurred - minuscule, really, in comparison to what Kjan had seen between Liell and Eledhe - before Lord Armadur drew out a small purse of coins.

"I do insist," Lady Armadur said, handing the purse to Liell. "You have my eternal thanks."

[Meldawen]

Lady Grey, not to be outdone, cast her son one more disapproving glance and swept over to carelessly deposit her string of cut rubies in Liell's hand. "I'm sure your caravan is wondering regarding your whereabouts?"

There couldn't be much more of a blatant hint. Liell bowed, wishing Eledhe would do something other than stand there, and tried to figure out the fastest way to get out of that room. "Aye, we should be, um, on our way," he said. "Thank you for, um, your kindness."

There was some confused back-and-forth, further illuminating Eledhe and Liell's lack of noble etiquette knowledge, until both of them ended up in the hallway wearing slightly relieved expressions. Evidently the foursome of nobles (sensibly) didn't trust them to find the door themselves (at least not without 'accidentally' acquiring some small, valuable objects), because a servant dropped a hurried curtsey in front of them. "If you'll follow me?"