General Mayhem

[Meldawen]

"I have an idea," said Phaerin. Evidently he hadn't caught on that they didn't like him talking. "How about if we promise to never breathe a word about, um, anything, and we'll all go happily off to whatever we were doing? Not, er, exploring, obviously." He smiled nervously.

Several skeptical and disbelieving noises were made by one or two of the group of - what, Phaerin wondered? He was considering asking, because if one could have a job of poking around in abandoned caves, he wanted to know more about it, but it didn't seem quite the right moment. The female whose name missed him slightly every time someone said it (though it sounded like 'a lady' said by someone with a lisp) was surveying the pair of them thoughtfully, tapping a beat with her fingers on the hilt of her weapon. It was thankfully sheathed.

At exactly the same time as the too-eager one - Jair? - said, "we should keep 'em, for ransom!" the female coolly bent to say casually, "how to we know we could trust you?"

Of course, an argument ensued, begun by an incredulous, "What in the seven levels of the underworld are you doing, El?!" from the overenthusiastic one.

"It's El-ay-thee," snarled the girl - oh, good, thought Phaerin, I know how to say it now - "and if you'd rather I didn't impale you to that wall you can just keep on saying nothing."

The other two calmly surveyed Eledhe and Jair getting increasingly heated on the subject until the one who seemed the oldest of the group - Liell - lazily reached to wave a hand in front of Eledhe's face. "We seem to be losing focus here. I believe I asked a question."

"Who died and made you ruler?" snapped Eledhe, but she subsided, glowering.

"I liked Jair's suggestion," he continued.

"You would," muttered Eledhe resentfully, and her scowl deepened (if possible).

[pirateoftherings]

Kjan, whose mind had already begun to wander, suddenly snapped back to the present situation. Ransom? As in, making their parents pay money so they could go home?

"That one did say that he was a Grey," Jair pointed out. "They have money, right? And we're practically on Armadur's land. I'm sure he's wondering where his kid's gotten off to by now."

Kjan held back a laugh until he finally had to let it out, disguised as a sudden coughing fit. His father? Pay money? "You obviously don't know my father," he finally replied. "He'd probably let you keep me, if you were asking for money. And trust me, I'm far more trouble than I'm worth."

At the present, Kjan wanted nothing more than to wake up and find out it was all a bad dream, or even just get out of the tunnels with his life. However, as he mulled over his possibilities, he realized that there were really very few. He had no weapon, due to the fact that he'd been only half-dressed when he fled, and even if Phae had something, there was the matter of sheer numbers. And physical strength, of course.

"I say we just dump them in a ditch somewhere," Cain suggested, entirely ignoring the previous idea. "The kid's right; they're not part of the mission, and they're not worth a bit of extra cash. Just kill them and be done with it."

Kjan looked up in disbelief, then began looking around at each of their captors. He tried to display the self-assured cockiness that so often radiated from Phae, but all he resulted in was making his hands start shaking so much that he had to clutch the extra material of his shirt in his fist to make them stop. So much for heroics.

Liell seemed to consider it for a moment, then nodded as though agreeing with some unspoken statement. "We take them for ransom," he declared resolutely. "Bind their hands, and let's move out. We're wasting time as it is."
________________________________________

"We there yet?"

"No."

"We there yet?"

"No."

"We there yet?"

"No."

"We there yet?"

"So help me, if you so much as breathe another word, I'll cut out your tongue and feed it to you."

Kjan considered this for a moment, decided that the man -Cain?-, was probably quite serious, and clamped his mouth shut. He succeeded in this endeavour for roughly ten-and-a-half seconds before he blurted out, "Why couldn't we have just stayed in that part of the mines for the night?"

[Meldawen]

"Assassin's Handbook, section thirty-four, paragraph nine - never spend the night in a location potentially compromising, disadvantageous, or of doubtful safety," muttered Eledhe, not quite loud enough to hear. From the scuffle behind him and Jair's muffled groan a minute later, Phaerin assumed he'd done something she didn't like and she'd retaliated. From what he counted that had happened twelve times in the last three hours. He'd mostly been keeping track between bouts of slight anxiety at their current situation.

Phaerin Grey wasn't one to worry. But really, would anyone have skipped off whistling with the knowledge that if he proved less than useful there was every possibility their captors would get bored and...do something damaging to his and Kjan's personal health? Hence he figured it was probably a smart course of action to trot amiably along, silent beyond a few upbeat and stonily ignored remarks about how they were lucky they were in here, cause it was cold outside, and how did they stay warm with only those jerkins, and a cautious query about where that weapon had come from. The last had been answered with an arched eyebrow and a pointed, "the smithy" with no further forthcoming information.

Despite his initial amiability, Phaerin was beginning to be quite tired of walking, especially with his hands tied. He'd offered agreeably to walk just as well with them untied, but that suggestion hadn't seemed to fly. In any case, what with him being tired, a train of thought began to hopefully play out in his head about stopping for a break.

Money, reasoned one half of his brain. That's why they're kidnapping you, so your parents will pay them. The other half asked curiously, how much money? and the all-knowing half answered wisely, a lot.

So more than usual?

Oh yes.

So they'd like to keep us, then.

Of course.

Meaning that if we wanted to stop, they'd have to let us stop, because they want to keep us with them, so -

The intelligent side didn't have a chance to reply, because Phaerin quite suddenly stopped in his tracks and said cheerily, "I think we should stop for a break."

He was remarkably unresponsive to any prodding into movement. The mercenaries exchanged glances, some accompanied by distinctly unimpressed looks. This noble brat obviously didn't know what he was dealing with.

[pirateoftherings]

Just then, Kjan's stomach chose to let out a loud growl. "...Do you have any food?" he queried. "I was supposed to eat after getting dressed, but then Bibsy pulled out The Vest and I had to run and then I found Phaerin and we decided to go exploring, so I never ate and now it's nearly supper time and it's been a very busy day, and I would be eating at a banquet right now if I weren't here, and....right. I'm very hungry," he concluded, looking as innocent and pitiable as he could manage.

Their captors exchanged another glance, then, as if by some unspoken unanimous decision, began walking again at the same pace as before.

[Meldawen]

Being attached to one of the ones who was walking by a length of rope, Phaerin found his plan to 'take a break' somewhat thwarted, and no amount of protesting (he discovered from attempting it) seemed to have a persuasive effect. Food wasn't forthcoming, either, which made for a very uncooperative pair of boys when, about an hour later - though Phaerin demurred it was three - they exited from an arm of the mine into lightly forested land dusted with snow.

"I'm cold," Phaerin announced instantly, unwittingly voicing the feelings of several of his captors, who looked expectantly at their female member. She acted entirely as though she was unaware of their existence, but was obviously as warm as if the sun were shining. It probably had something to do with a slight glow that clung around her.

"Resident magic-user?" the oldest - Liell - said pointedly.

Eledhe raised an eyebrow. "Hm?"

"As in, heat?"

"Haven't the slightest idea what you mean," said Eledhe, and made to keep walking. Cue another shouting match, the one demanding she utilize her abilities for their convenience, and the other adamantly insisting she had no idea what he was talking about. Yells subsided to intense glares and a brief contest of who's-going-to-blink-first, and then Liell said something in an undertone, looking dangerous, and Eledhe's hand flashed out to strike him.

He caught her wrist, but only barely, and Phaerin wondered with some interest if they were going to draw their weapons, but she just jerked out of his grasp and the next moment everybody was warm and they were walking again, Eledhe wearing a murderous expression that made Phaerin rethink asking where they were going.

[pirateoftherings]

Under ordinary circumstances, Kjan would have wondered at what the woman had done and how she'd done it and probably would have asked no less than fifty questions along those lines. However, despite all evidence to the contrary, he did actually like staying alive, and the quiet, rational five percent of his mind told him that saying anything to that particular person at the moment would only result in his being denied that privilege permanently, ransom or no. Besides, he was just happy to be warm.

"What are those?" he queried, indicating the two weapons - at least, he assumed they were weapons - hanging from the belt of the man who looked least likely to physically harm him for speaking. They looked sort of like the swords that his father and Aran sometimes wore, but they were skinnier and a bit shorter, and the man wore two instead of one.

"Daisies," Jair replied flatly, a slightly arched eyebrow the only indication that he wasn't serious. After a moment's pause, he reluctantly decided to humor the boy - for a little while, at least. "They're knives, what else?"

"Do you fight with them?"

"No, I use them for juggling."

Kjan paused, considering this claim. "...Really?"

Jair let out a long sigh before glancing back down at their young captive. "Have you never seen a knife before? Of course I use them for fighting."

"Oh." Kjan said nothing else for a moment, feeling a bit stupid. "My father always uses a sword," he finally said, a bit apologetically.

"He would," Jair scoffed. "He's a noble; he'd never deign to use a commoner's weapon. Men like him never use less than a jewel-encrusted sword that costs thrice the yearly wages of the average man."

Kjan considered defending his father against what the man obviously intended to be an insult, but he bit his tongue at the last second. "Why is a knife better?" he asked instead.

"A knife isn't any better. But a pair of knives grants more versatility. A single blade can only do one thing at a time. With these, I can block my opponent's blow and decapitate him at the same time."

"What's de-" Kjan started to ask, before Cain suddenly walked past with a cough that sounded suspiciously like 'sympathizer.' Immediately, Jair turned to face forward again, his expression stonily neutral.

Disappointed, Kjan shifted in his bonds slightly before drifting as close to Phaerin as he could. "Phae," he whispered surreptitiously. "What's 'decapitate' mean?"

[Meldawen]

Phaerin closed one eye and tried to remember. Decapitate. It sounded like the title of some state official - Decapitate Phaerin Grey. "It's a title," he said wisely, having decided this was what it was. "I bet my father know someone who's a decapitate."

Liell, who was nearest, made a curious snorting noise, and Phaerin jumped, looking up at him. Maybe he was blowing his nose or something.

Eledhe very suddenly stopped where she stood. Liell walked past...then Cain with Kjan walked past...then Jair with Phaerin...and just as Phaerin was about to point out that they seemed to be leaving one of their number behind (and it was one of the halfway decent ones, too) Liell turned on his heel. His glare was powerful enough to be felt through several layers of rock. Eledhe glared right back, and Phaerin wondered if they did this frequently.

Finally he snapped, "What?" and Eledhe tapped her foot, expression lofty enough to be educating a numbskull. "It's right here."

"What's right there?"

"The entrance, nitwit! Passage we came through? Ring any bells, or should I report to Master Tyenil that you're suffering from short-term memory loss?"

Liell stalked back, and Eledhe took her own sweet time about taking a handful of glittery powder out of one of her pouches, sprinkling it over a specific spot of ground, and muttering something. Quite suddenly, as if it had been there the entire time, there was a cylindrical hole with a ladder down into it. Eledhe gestured mockingly to Liell. He scowled and climbed down first. "C'mon. We're late as it is."

"Not my fault," muttered the girl.

[pirateoftherings]

Kjan was in the process of staring dubiously down the hole (he'd already gone down one dark hole today, and look where it'd gotten him) when he received a not-so-gentle prod from the hilt of someone's sword and was forced to climb down the ladder, despite the fact that his hands were still bound a bit awkwardly.

When he finally reached the bottom, he realized that they were in some sort of stone chamber that contained numerous door-like structures. None of them seemed to lead anywhere, however, as they were more like doorframes simply built into the wall.

The others soon joined them, but no one made to go anywhere. Instead, Liell simply strode over to one of the psuedo-doors and turned to look impatiently at Eledhe. "Well?"

[Meldawen]

Eledhe swept past him and thrust a hand into the silvery sheen of portal, checking an inscription by the rim of the ovular doorway. It swirled, liquid-like, and Phaerin peered around the young man in front of him, fascinated. He listened very carefully to what Eledhe was saying, making a mental note to remember it just in case.

She stepped back after a moment or two, gesturing to the liquid surface of the portal, which had turned inky black. Liell grimaced. "Are you sure it's -"

"Positive," said Eledhe, sounding simultaneously icy and insulted. "You think I want to end up in some barren wasteland somewhere any more than you do?"

Cue the umpteenth glaring contest in the last two hours. Phaerin counted under his breath to see how long it was. It was approaching the longest yet when Jair shoved his companion unceremoniously in the back and Liell half-stepped, half-fell into its swirling depths. Next was Jair, and then Phaerin. He poked at it with a finger, feeling a curious sensation of warmth and cold at the same time, and with a grin back at Kjan, stepped through.

[pirateoftherings]

Kjan didn't have the opportunity to marvel at the nature of the portal. The moment Phaerin was through, Kjan was pushed -again- by Cain and forced to stumble rather awkwardly through the strange shimmering substance before them.

Once on the other side, he only just stopped himself from falling by gracefully running into Phaerin. Righting himself as Cain and Eledhe joined them, Kjan looked around at their new surroundings curiously. They were in some sort of official-looking building that looked a bit like the various buildings his father used to take him to before the Dung Incident had put an end to all teach-Kjan-how-society-works outings. Except he was fairly sure that the bored-looking receptionists at the other buildings hadn't been sharpening their knife collection while they waited for someone to show up with actual business.

"Where are-"

"Mercenaries' Guild," Jair cut him off dismissively as they began moving again, this time with Liell and Eledhe each not-so-subtly trying to stay in front of the other, and thus at the front of the group. They strode through several corridors at an increasingly fast pace (courtesy of the minor power struggle going on in front), passing by dormitories, armories filled with an impressive array of every weapon imaginable and armor that likely weighed more than Kjan himself, several large training rooms, and even a huge library. They (he and Phae) received a few odd looks, but one of the unspoken (yet strongly enforced) rules at the Guild was "don't ask, don't tell." Thus, despite the odd sight presented by two young boys being led by a band of newly-recruited mercenaries, they encountered no opposition.

Abruptly, they came to a halt in front of what looked to be some sort of private office. A short staring match ensued, until finally Liell bluntly observed, "Someone has to stay with the kids."

[Meldawen]

Eledhe nodded, folding her arms. "Yes," she agreed sweetly. "Someone does."

Jair and Cain exchanged glances which very narrowly avoided being eyerolls. "And they're in charge of us," Jair muttered, and regretted it a moment later when Eledhe turned the full force of her displeasure on him. "Excuse me?"

"Er," he stammered, "I said...we'll take charge of the kids."

"Excellent," returned Eledhe, and swept past Liell to, predictably, attempt to enter first. Also predictably, he elbowed her out of the way, and if looks could kill - well, he would have been dead long since, so it didn't matter.

The occupants of said office were discussing something in low tones when the pair entered, and it looked to be of a somewhat delicate nature...if one could judge from the fact that the one was quite literally two and half inches away from being in the other's lap. Enmity momentarily forgotten, Eledhe and Liell exchanged a somewhat amused glance - Masters Vellia and Hartdon certainly took things at a rather fast pace - and looked away as though somewhat embarassed to be even contemplating sharing the same emotion.

"Yes?" said the one, icily enough to rival Eledhe. She hadn't moved an inch.

---

"So do you live here?" Phaerin began conversationally. Liell was the dangerous one, and Cain not altogether friendly, but Jair was all right; and seeing as the dangerous one was gone, along with the one who aggravated him (therefore making him dangerous) he figured a little pleasant small talk couldn't hurt.

Jair shrugged. Phaerin took it as permission to keep talking. "I would imagine the security's a bit elevated" - it was something he'd heard his father say when making small talk about some noble's estate - "judging by the underground tunnels?"

Jair eyed him. "I guess," he responded noncommittally. Phaerin cast about for a nother topic of discussion.

[pirateoftherings]

"Our reconnaissance mission is complete," Liell spoke up, using the opportunity to shift the authority back toward himself.

"I should hope so, if you are standing here," Master Vellia replied coolly, fixing the pair with her customary unmoving gaze. "I should also hope that you have a more extensive report than that."

Liell remained undaunted. "We found nothing of great consequence, though our exploration was cut slightly short. There was a tunnel collapse, amid other...complications."

"Where is the remainder of your team? I know we sent out more than two."

"They're dealing with the complications."

Apart from the fractional raising of one eyebrow, Master Hartdon's expression remained the same. "Do expound."
_____________________

Kjan, in the meantime, was occupying himself with alternately looking around at their surroundings and tracing a crack in the wall that looked curiously like the shape that was formed when one connected the moles on the back of Dante's neck (not that he knew what that looked like). He'd tried smiling at the various people who passed by, but it seemed that everyone here was about as amiable as Celeste during her phase of the moon. Minus the throwing of random objects, of course.

"When are we leaving?" he suddenly asked.

"Whenever Eledhe and Liell finish making our report," Jair replied, leaning against the wall and beginning to clean some of the filth from beneath his nails with the point of a dagger.

"When'll they be done?"

"When they're done."

Determining that the conversation was going nowhere, Kjan instead turned to Phaerin. "I'm bored."

[Meldawen]

Eledhe instantly regretted the fact that she hadn't suggested the pair of noblemen's sons be a tactfully kept secret. Too late now. Liell was launching into an explanation and all Eledhe felt inclined to do was sit meekly back and listen to him dig himself deeper...and deeper...and deeper...

Evidently the authorities in question felt the same way, because their expressions (never amiable) looked positively disdainful.

"So," Vellia began, leaning forward delicately to tap very long, rather sharp nails on the desk. "To summarize, you found nothing of use in the mine, at which point it would have been prudent to return immediately. Instead you managed to kidnap a pair of noblemen's sons, news of the capture of which would probably send every mercenary on the continent scurrying for cover, and have the audacity to demand ransom."

She leaned back, uncoincidentally onto the arm of Master Hartdon, and smiled with a chilling air of lofty amusement. "I think the little aspiring mage has read the Assassin's Handbook?"

Eledhe shifted, uncomfortably sure that she knew what was coming.

"Quote me Article Three, paragraph five."

Curse it. "When, having engaged in a pursuit not mutually beneficial to both sides of an agreement, one side requests assistance from the other, the only course of action recommended is to immediately detach oneself from such pursuit and to withdraw all possible monetary assets involved in such -"

"Yes, yes," Vellia waved an impatient hand. She shrugged mockingly. "I would be very glad not to be you if this particular venture fails." She grinned. It was reminiscent of a fox. "Do remember to close the door when you go out."

---

Phaerin considered this for a moment. "Can't say I really sympathize with you there," he responded thoughtfully. There was a moment of silence.

Then Eledhe exited, looking about as amiable as a storm cloud laced with lightning, followed by a gloomy Liell. "Idiot," she snarled, turning on him. "If we'd kept it a secret we could have just killed the pair of them and nobody any the wiser!"

He blinked, "We can't still -?"

"You think Vellia's going to keep quiet when the Court is investigating this? She'd give us away in a heartbeat. Less. They have royal permission to know which patrols were out on any given day. You think they won't ask?"

Her voice grew progressively higher with each inquiry, until it was practically a shriek.

There was a small, decidedly pregnant, pause.

"I'm hungry," announced Phaerin. Four pairs of mercenary eyes like shards of ice turned on him made him wonder if that had perhaps been a touch of bad timing.

[pirateoftherings]

Over the past few hours, Kjan had already begun to reach the conclusion that the woman (Eledhe) was always either about to kill someone or steadily building up to that point. At the moment, she looked ready to add a third condition to the list - killing someone. 'Someone' more specifically being Liell. Or possibly Phaerin. Or whatever poor soul had the misfortune of being both in the vicinity and expendable.

For a moment, Kjan honestly thought she was going to kill someone, until she abruptly turned and stalked off. Liell, likewise, broke away from the group, though in a deliberately opposite direction.

Cain merely shrugged. "I said to kill them," he pointed out before going off to who-knew-where.

Thus, Jair was left with both boys. Silence ensued for several milliseconds before Kjan abruptly declared, "I'm hungry too."

[Meldawen]

This event was a dazzlingly clear illustration of the hierarchy in this particular group and the remarkably effective way things were run in the Mercenaries' Guild. Liell, being the leader, felt perfectly justified in going wherever he felt like going, and even though Eledhe had really no rank, her personality was such that it automatically catapulted her to a position the barest smidgen under the highest authority. Cain was obviously intelligent enough to leave while he still could, rendering him automatically higher than the unfortunate Jair, who was neither intelligent enough to make an escape nor possessing enough authority to transfer his unwanted responsibility to the nearest unfortunate group member.

All this to say that Phaerin and Kjan really were not under optimal supervision. "Tough," growled Jair, and shot a glare at Eledhe's retreating back.

For a minute Phaerin thought with some surprise - could looks kill? Or at least immobilize? Because she'd stopped, and was turning around, and -

"Get lost," Eledhe said evenly in Jair's direction, with just enough threatening inflection to send him scurrying. She turned, arms folded, to survey Phaerin and Kjan, who were both wisely silent. "Liell's an idiot," she muttered, turning. "Come on."

Phaerin contemplated saying he was hungry again. Somehow he didn't think it would go over well.